Oh gal's keep clear if you dont want to ride on my roller coaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Angry is not my favorite feeling!!!!!!!!!!
Stop the anger!!!!!!!!!!
Being beat down is not my favorite feeling!!!!!!!!!It's time for me to fly!!!!!
Time for peace and healing!!!!!!!!!Being a strong woman is my goal!!!!
I wish you all peace!!!!!!!!!!!  I really feel so alone alot of the time but I am really working on feeling better. Do you ever feel like no matter what you do it will never be enough for some people, I go on other blog's and really would like to be that person's friend and I leave comment's but they never respond. See I alway's take everything so personal,(I hate that I do that). My marriage has been this way and it kill's me, I so want to be accepted and loved. I have put myself in situation's that I must admit it is all my fault, but leave so hurt and depleted. My dad yelled at me Sunday, I am a 48 year old women that just sit's there and take's it.(WHY) I am going to find out why. I will get better, I am hell bent to get strong and not let myself get hurt. I hope you will remain on my blog and be my friend. I am really getting divorced for real and I am so relieved, so much drama happened this last weekend, I felt so alone, I have taken so much counseling, stay on medication. The only thing I havent done is do something for Debbie, how do you not feel guilty? I really dont know how to do that. I wish I could just be okay!!!! This is my space, my dear friend Kolleen told me to say what I want and feel safe. I know I can on the blog. But this last weekend I posted on facebook I was getting a divorce, hell broke loose from my
husband's family, it was like I had comited the Cardinal sin, it brought me to a feeling that I have tried to avoid,that is probably why I have stayed married to avoid the judging,hurt and back biting. I never fit in that family  and my husband has tried to convience me I dont fit in any where, I have bought it for to long.But my dear friend's that have grown up with me have showered me with so much love and support.Okay I will go for the day and try to do something productive. Please forgive my insecurities, I am trying to find a solution.


  1. Stay strong. Do what you know in your heart is right.


  2. I'm so sorry you're feeling like this, but you are a strong woman, you can say what you think on your blog and know that no body will judge you. Your path is clearly not an easy one, but all that you are going through makes you the person you are, so go with what is best for you. I hope you work everything out the best way possible.

    My prayers are with you.

    Hugs RosieP x

  3. Awww Sweetheart. (((HUG)))
    I wish I were your neighbor I'd come
    have a cup of tea with you. Feel free
    to email me anytime :



    It sounds like we've experience a lot
    of the same issues. My X and the way
    he treated me (yes, I'm outta that!). For
    me I take meds for depression. I'm not
    sure that is the medication you are
    refering to but if it is keep taking it!
    Ask your DR if you should increase it.

    Ohhhh I just want to hold you and let
    you cry on my shoulder. Life IS worth
    living. You just need to find the best path.

    hug you, TR


  4. Hi Debbie, I'm going through things now too,so I don't think I would be of any help since I can't answer my own questions... but I'll say a prayer for both of us and I'm a good listener too...Hugs, Jennifer

  5. I'm sorry this has been so hard. Remember whose daughter you are, Gods. Remember how much He loved and loves you always. No other person or love can diminish that. And with God you are never alone, even when you feel like it. Hang on, and hang tight. You are in my prayers. (hugs)

  6. ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))....I love you girl and I'm glad you are able to share you heart with us girl...I so connected with the trying to be a friend in the blogging..I have learned not to take it personally and I actually stay away from one because I struggle with,,'why does she comment to everyone but never comments to my blog' 'how come I see her at everyone elses blog, but never mine'. Bla bla bla..oh girl..I just stay away because if I don't, I will go crazy!!! lol..hmmmmmmmm..what am I saying, I am crazy..lol. Oh well..God loves me just the way I am..and He is not finished with me so I need to love me and just keep on going...

    Stay strong,,and when you can't KNOW His strength is made perfect in weakness..SIGH..I was talking to God today and letting Him know I was DEFINITELY weak ..big time...just getting by and trying not to drown in the emotions girl...

  7. Hang in there chickadee! I don't know the specifics and you don't have to tell... I just wanted you to know that you have support! I've never been divorced so I can't say I know what you are going through. But, be strong. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. Hang in there dear friend. The blogging world can be hard because sometimes we all just get lost in our lives. But, even if we are not all commenting, many of us are still reading. You are a strong and good woman. You deserve to have peace and love. There are many of us sending you love right now. Hang in there.

  9. I know we don't know each other, but I when I read your blog, I can't help feel some of your pain... You are going thru a very hard, painful time.. I know there is nothing I could say that would make it better, But I can tell you that there is light at the end of the tunnel.. one way or another, wether you stay in your marriage or get out,,
    I will also tell you that everyone has problems... I don't think there is such a thing as a fairy tale..I am not saying there is not happiness.. but, it takes willing participants,, Just remember that you are a lovely lady, who deserves to be loved,,

  10. You sound like you are struggling so much between staying and leaving - and I wish we could all tell you what to do - but it has to be your choice. I hope and pray some peace for you as you make a decision.

    I know you are hurting.

    I think Facebook is much more public then Blogger.

  11. I'm so sorry you are hurting so deeply...and I know I can't begin to say, "I understand what you've been through." Please know that I'm praying for you...

  12. praying for your peace and God's guidance. trust and rest in him. Life gets very hard sometimes, I don't know your specifics but God does, he can and will sustain you through all things.

  13. First let me say that I am a lot older than you are and perhaps you need the younger women on here.
    The only thing I can tell you is that I have been where you are and I know it is not pleasant. I had a difficult first marriage but we made it through. Until this day I have no idea how. It was one day at a time and there were times I wanted to just lay down and die. But time is the greatest healer and sometimes only time can help you.
    One thought that kept me going many times was "and this too shall pass away" ...and it did. I'm glad it turned out well.

    No, I never divorced. My marriage was probably one of the worst in our mid years..and I won't go into detail. It began happy...and ended happy and I miss him and will until I die.

    I wish I could help...but I remember when I was going through my hell, NO one could help me, but me.
    No one should yell at you...but people being just people react and do things wrong and at the wrong time. It's possible that your father is a bit sorry, if not a lot sorry, for having yelled at you. I'm just saying it's possible.

    It's difficult when folks don't know you. Everyone wants to give you aid and comfort..but words only go so far. They are comforting balm for a few moments...but they don't change your situation. I wish they did.

    All I can say Sweetie, is that I'm sorry you are having these problems. So sorry. Please hang in there and remember that nothing is forever. Everything passes. We are always constantly changing as is our environment.

    For the record I had seven children, all thirteen and fourteen months apart..
    It's rough.
    You don't say the ages of yours...
    Please take care of you. Be good to yourself.
    And most of all, know that everything is eventually going to be alright. I promise you that.

  14. Good luck with all the decisions before you! You'll know what's right when you feel it.

  15. you ARE strong!!!
    believe in it!!!
    trust your path!!!

    take care of YOU!

    sending lots of love and hugs

  16. You have a friend in me. Prayers that things get better. It will be a long road but I know you can do it.

  17. Only you can decide what is right for you. Whatever decision you make, I know there will be many people supporting you. It will be a roller coaster ride, but like others have said, it will pass.
    Good luck and hugs. xx

  18. Oh goodness, Debbie ... you are never alone! and yes, we do feel that way at times. And you are so loved by God! He never lets us down! And I would feel guilty (sometimes I still do), never thought I was good enough; but, girl, not anymore! we all wake up the same, we all put our pants on the same way, so grab our hands ... we are with you and for you! Get up, girl .. and walk with all of us!! WE love you, too! and let me tell you something, girlie,I am so new at this blogging I can't even get it set up!! imagine that?! and you have a beautiful site!! OK .. look at the comments you get! I can't even see mine!! it says I have some .. but don't know how to "see"! is that not a pity?!I keep going in and trying to figure it out ... and someday, by golly, I will!! It shows I have six followers! but I can't see their comments! how crazy is that? Oh, Debbie, let's have tea together! OK? and you don't have to worry about me not coming back .. I love your name! Beautiful Dees! yeah, you! so let's all of us girls hold hands, and skip down this path called Life, and laugh and play like we did when we were younger! who says we had to stop playing? we are just beginning, Dear One ... one skip at a time!!
    Love you and I will be back!! come visit me at deeslittlepinkie and see if you can get into it! and you can let me know if and how you did! OK? It's a beautiful day!
    Pink Hugs

  19. Keep strong and your head held high and do what is right for you and not what is right for other's. Sometimes you have to dig down, way down deep, to find the answers and they will be there for you when you need them. Take care. Hugs from Canada. Cathy

  20. Oh dear Debbie, I am so sorry that this has all blown up again!! You must do what is right for YOU!!! There is no judgement here for you!! If things aren't right with your husband then the best thing for you is to end it!!! You definitely have the strength to start again!!
    Blessings and love

  21. I am new to your blog so I don't really know what to say. I do agree with Mona's comment. I know what you mean about people commenting. I follow someones blog and she use to comment on mine and now she doens't but she always comments on others!! I will be back by...but I am usually late!!

  22. I am so sorry that you are going through such a rough time. I have a great husband of 23 years but my first (for 10 years)wasn't so great and he's the father of my sons. You'll always have to deal with him in some little ways because of your children but boy is it great not to have to wake up next to the jerk! Good luck!