Family and Friends!!!!!!!!!

This is where my heart is, with those who love and cherish me. My beautiful mom who is 76 years of age, my beautiful daughters and grandchildren whom I adore. I watched my mom endure and she has had so many health problems because of my dad,(whom I love dearly) but he really beat my mom down so much that she lost herself in the process. My dad rule's and she obey's. I will not put my life in this mess anymore. We have had turmoil in our marriage from the get go, I was told last year to solve my anxieties I should go get a gun,load it and put it to my head.(My husband told me this gesture) I have really tried to get past his (our issues but cant. Twelve year'sago my husband tried to comit suicide and he still blame's me, and he will never admit he need's help or seek it, I have plenty of time's and will continue to do so.I really feel ashamed for venting, as in the past I have caught hell for opening my mouth,my children fear him also, he is very complex, I have lived with him for 30 year's and still dont know him. He had a very rushed adulthood, he got a girl pregnant and left her after two month's (Too young) and I had alway's liked him, I guess I was his last resort, I have had so many hurtful things said to me, one is that he never loved me and never will, I was five month's pregnant with our third child. His mother has made my life living hell.I really am tried out.I know we will have trial's in life and I will endure, my boys have been my best examples of being tried but doing it with grace and dignity.
I appreciate all of you and your dear coment's, I really  feel valued as a person from all of you dear friend's, I am so glad we found each other. I will stay in touch with all of you, it really help's me focus on the good in life, the beauty that can be found in family and friend's is the most treasured gift of all.I have watched this daughter go through hell because of wrong choice's that she admit's are her doing's, but I am so proud of her honesty and the will to admit to change. She has three beautiful children and a zest for life that is coming back again. I hope if any one thing I have done for my children is to teach them to just be good and forgive. They teach me every day and I thank God for them.


  1. Reading your life made me feel very sad, you visited my blog and said you might try patchwork and quilting , it is a wonderful stress buster , give it a go---cottonreel

  2. You have a gorgeous family, Dee. I am very concerned for you and your family. The situation you have described seems volatile to me. Have you been able to physically separate yourself and your family from your husband at this point? I pray that you see what needs to be done and follow through.

  3. My goodness it seems you have a lot going on in your life and that you had a lot going on in your childhood and then a lot in your marriage. Plus all the medical issues. This all sounds so hard. Do you take any time for yourself at all? To breathe? You really need to take care of yourself. You are a beautiful person in and out!