Birthday gone bad!!!

Here I am alway's the one wanting to please everybody, I have really had a bad night and day. I tried to shut my mouth as usual and just agree, but last night on the way home from red lobster I could not hold my toung, old Mr.Dragon showed up and it was ugly. My husband really is two people and the truth is I have had enough.I will probably continue the rest of my journey on earth with my boy's and when they are gone because of their disease, I will volunteer or go be a hermit.
I have held on to so many issue's for so long, I have got counseling,read book's,walked, and lost weight. I am so depressed living with him, I wanted so badly to be able to make this marriage of 30 and a half year's work, but I have quit. You can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink.I think maybe I can find some peace in my life. He has been very hard to deal with but I did it, because I believed in good value's and home, but we have made our home a hell on earth, My children still fear his wrath, he was never physical but he beat us down emotionally, and I was stupid to take it for so many year's.
I hope I dont loose you all as my friend's. I am sorry but today is not a good day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17 comments:

  1. My heart goes out to you during this time. You have so much going on and trying to sort it all out. You take what time you need, vent or write. Just know we will still be here for you.

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  2. You have to do what you have to do. Be true to yourself.

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  3. I am so sorry that you have to deal with someone who does not treat you well. Life is to short tospend it with someone who does not treat you well. You absolutely deserve to be happy and make some changes for the better in your life. You are in my prayers....
    Hugs~
    Andrea

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  4. i am so, so sorry for your pain and your heartache. Why would you think you would lose friends??? if we can't stick through the tough stuff...we aren't very good friends to begin with, are we?

    you are in my thoughts. take care of YOU first and foremost, because if you do not, you truly aren't any good for anyone else, especially those beautiful children of yours.

    you are in my thoughts.

    sending hugs and love,
    k

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  5. Well I came in on a rough patch. Thanks for stopping by my site.
    No one can make these decisions for you. Don't let anyone step on you.

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  6. My dear new friend, I understand. I'm sorry for your pain. No one has a right to be abusive, and mental abuse can be just as cruel, if not more so, than physical abuse. I'm thinking of you -- you're in my prayers. If you want to talk further, please email me at bobbypinsboardwalk@yahoo.com.

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  7. Of course you won't lose us as friends. I'm so sorry to hear of this. You must take care of yourself. Being in an unbearable situation is no way to live.

    You can write about your struggle and share it with us and you will have support.

    xo
    Claudia

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  8. Dear Debbie....SO HAPPY you stopped by my blog and became one of my beloved followers. That made me VERY HAPPY.

    I'm so sorry you had a bad day on the birthday. So very, very sorry. Sometimes that does happen. It seems, Debbie, that you have been married a very long time, since you were quite young. You have given so much....to your husband, your children, your parents, etc. Maybe now it's time to give to YOU. At least some rest, some kindness, some gentleness, some compassion.

    We all have fights with our mates. We all have bad days. I know you are really mad at your husband right now, but think about the good times you've had, too. And the gorgeous, drop dead gorgeous cabinets he built for you! I know when I am furious, it's not a time to make any decisions. Be gentle with yourself today, dear Debbie. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
    Take care and come to visit often. Sincerely, Susan from writingstraightfromtheheart.blogspot.com

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  9. Is it your birthday today? Or near your birthday - have a nice birthday. It was great of you to find my blog. I hear and feel you are going through a really tough time right now and not in the same exact ways - but I can relate.

    You have a new friend in Georgia!

    sandie

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  10. You are not alone! Everyone feels your pain in some form or another. I too had to vent when I usually try to keep my mouth shut. I have a father who sounds like your husband. I continue to go back and visit so I can see my mom and sisters, but it turns out bad every time. I really can relate! It's verbal/emotional abuse also. I recently went to visit for my dad's 75th birthday....hoping for a nice visit and hoping to take family pictures to post on my blog....well....it went badly after he was RUDE! But, I finally stood up to him! Anyway...I often think of the definition of insanity, "Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results"! Some people will NEVER change. You only have one life, we get just one time around! Do what is best for you.

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  11. Sweet Debbie,
    I had a very similar problem... actually I have always had a similar story, and this is my third marriage! (I am much better at being a makeup artist than staying married!) A few months ago, while my husband was again working my last nerve, I read somewhere that you can never change another person, you can only control what you put into the situation. Something clicked. My relationship had become a never ending return loop of us both finding fault with each other and blaming the other for our unhappiness. I thought I was much smarter than he, more evolved and a better person! Well that should have been my first clue! Long story short, I read a book called "The proper Care And Feeding Of A Husband" and I really turned things around... for myself that is! A miraculous thing happens when you decide to"act like the person you want to be". It is much different than holding the dragon tongue, I have a very sharp one inherited from my mother may she rest in peace! In this situation, you are CHOOSING to act from your higher self, and it feels peaceful and you begin to not really be effected by how badly another behaves. It is really amazing how it works because there is no pent up frustration anymore. You realize that the person's actions are his actions, and you don't take it personally. You feel good about yourself, because you are not subconsciously embarrassed by the ugliness you let out.
    Now I have absolutely no idea ALL the stuff and the details of your relationship, but you have been in it for a very long time and even if you will eventually leave, at least use this time with him to work on developing this skill so you won't have the same problem with your future hunny if there will be one. Actually, it sounded from your last post that you love him very much and honestly it is a LOT of work to start from scratch again. Trust me ;) It will be a different face with the same problem until you change! I was honestly ready to call it quits when I decided that my situation was a fabulous testing ground to work on myself. But a funny thing happened- as I changed, HE started changing and we fight a whole lot less. The best thing is that he really doesn't bother me anymore because my ego isn't the one fighting anymore.
    Well, sorry for the rambling, I will keep you in my prayers, and hope all goes well for you!
    Sparkly Hugs,
    Tobi

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  12. It's a new day -- I just wanted you to know that I've been thinking about you.

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  13. Me too Debbie,
    Sounds like a lot of hurtful stuff going on. Follow your heart and focus on you for now...we are all here!
    Big hugs,
    Tobi

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  14. You've got a new friend in California! Thanks for stopping by my blog.
    I am sure you will find YOUR TRUTH as you look inside your heart.

    Dear Lord, please surround Debbie with peace today and give her clarity and wisdom of mind. AMEN.

    hugs,
    Lesley

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  15. This post could easily have been mine seven years ago. I understand and I have been there. I will think of you. Pop by for a chat. ~Kelly

    unDeniably Domestic

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